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Resolving differences

Avoid criticizing your partner's personality

Relationship Advice and Marital Counselling   

You can't resolve differences and disagreements with your partner by criticizing their personality, behaving as if you were superior, being defensive, or stonewalling.

Each of these behaviors tends to lead to more conflict and negativity so that what might start off as a mild disagreement ends up as a full-blown argument.

They key to resolving differences and preventing fights is to be able to listen to and accept some of your partner's feedback and suggestions and to be prepared to give a little and compromise.

These behaviors appear to come more easily to women than men, which is why a guy's ability to accept influence, compromise and change is critical in a successful marriage.

Watch this video about couples who are in constant conflict.

 

In a successful relationship, you find the guy saying something like:

"I can see where you are coming from but I don't accept everything you are saying. Let's discuss it."

That guy is different from the guy who says:

"I disagree with everything you’ve said."

In couples who are heading for divorce, you find the partners attacking each other and blaming their problems on each other’s character and behaviors saying things like:

"It's your fault, your perfectionism, your personality. You're the problem. There's nothing wrong with me. "

Big 5 Personality Traits

Watch this video about the Big 5 personality traits to to help you understand your partner's personality and why they may be different from you.