Watch this video by Michele
Weiner-Davis about what couples argue about and
how the way they handle disagreements changes
Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling
Here are some things that you
can try to ensure that you handle your
disagreements in a way that does not damage the
Accept that it is normal for
two people to have different views, ideas, and
positions on certain things in any relationship.
Try to see the world from
your partner's perspective to understand where
they are coming from.
Don't dig yourself into a
hole in arguments--be prepared to compromise and
change to reach common ground and make things
Prevent disagreements turning
into full blown arguments by avoiding the "Four
Horseman of the Apocalypse"
behaviors--criticism, contempt, defensiveness,
Watch John Gottman's video
about the things not to do when you disagree
Use anger and frustration to
help understand and tackle what needs to be
improved in the relationship.
Ask your partner to tell you
when you are being inconsiderate and
Watch this video by John
Gottman where he talks about what couples fight