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relationship advice

Signs of a healthy relationship

Feeling in control 

Feeling in control in a relationship

In unequal partnerships, one partner wants to run the show in the relationship. The controlling partner bosses the other around and has to be right about everything. The controlling partner makes decisions alone and ignores their partner's views and opinions.

Control freaks make their partners unhappy because they prevent their partners developing and make them feel inconsequential.

Do you both feel in control over what happens in your relationship?

Respect, Empowerment and Consultation

Here are some things that you can both do to ensure that you feel in control of what happens in the relationship:

Show respect for your partner's needs, feelings, preferences, and opinions.

Aim to create a relationship where you and your partner both feel empowered and in control of decisions, and what happens in the relationship and in your lives.

Consult your partner before taking decisions that will affect them, and try to reach joint decisions.

Don't try to micro-manage your partner's behavior--allow them to decide what to do, how to do it, and when to do it.

Do not attempt to change a controlling partner by trying to placate or please them as this will reinforce their controlling behavior and make you angry and resentful.  

Watch this video by Dr David Hawkins about dealing with a control freak.