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relationship advice

Signs of a healthy relationship

Having autonomy and freedom

autonomy  in a relationship  

The first sign of a good relationship is autonomy. In successful relationships, you find that each partner gives the other freedom.

The partners try to help each other to achieve their respective goals in life. Neither partner tries to impose their will on the other nor tries to change the other's personality.

Ask yourselves whether you each give the other freedom and autonomy.

Togetherness, Support and Freedom

Here are some things that you can do to achieve autonomy in the relationship:

Talk to your partner about their career and life goals, and how you can help them develop and reach their potential.

Discuss and agree areas of autonomy and togetherness in your relationship.

Discuss what you each think is the right balance of time spent together and apart.

Try to find a balance where you are neither too separate from one another, nor exceptionally involved with one another.

Aim to spend a minimum of at least 12 hours of non-sleep, non-TV time together each week.

Bear in mind that women tend to rely on friends and relatives, in addition to their partner, for emotional support, whereas men tend to rely more on their partner for most of their support.

Watch this John Gottman video about what distinguishes people who have masterful relationships from people who have disastrous relationships--"the masters and the disasters".