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relationship advice

Assess yourself

Do the relationship health check

RDQ Relationship Diagnostic Questionnaire   

Now that you understand some key principles about how to manage a successful relationship, it is time to take a closer look at the quality of your relationship by completing the RelateBetter relationship screening.

The relationship health assessment will provide you with a clear and detailed picture of how you and your partner rate the relationship and reveal whether you each have the same view and level of satisfaction with of the relationship. Use the screening to get to know your partner better--for example, their likes, dislikes, wishes, hopes and dreams.

Critical Areas of the Relationship

We look at two key areas in every relationship/marriage--interaction and support, and romance and sex.  Interaction and support covers eight aspects of how you interact with, communicate, and support each other. Romance and sex covers four aspects of the relationship. Use the menu on the left of this page to find out more about the healthy signs of a successful relationship.

Relationship Health Check

This is a free scientific screening that has been taken by over 150,000 people. You can take this on your own but it is better if both partners complete the assessment. Then on the basis of this, you can set yourself specific relationship improvement goals, and we can provide you with practical ideas and suggestions about how to achieve these goals.

The key findings from your online relationship health assessment are shown on pages 5-8 of the RDQ relationship improvement report. Page 5 of the report provides a snapshot of how effectively your relationship is working at present. The scorecards on pages 6-7 contain detailed information to help you decide where and how to improve your relationship. Page 8 concludes by highlighting the things that are not working well at all and that you need to really work on, the things that are working moderately well and you should aim to strengthen, and the things that are working well that you should celebrate.

Relationship Scorecards

In your relationship scorecards, the scores of different aspects of the relationship are generated by comparing your responses with those of over 150,000 people who have completed the questionnaire. Scores are color-coded using the Red Amber Green (RAG) traffic light assessment system.

Green area scores indicate that this is a strong feature of the relationship.

An amber green score indicates that this is a fairly strong feature of the relationship.

Amber scores indicate that this area of the relationship is working moderately well--but there is room for improvement.

An amber red score indicates that this is becoming a problem in the relationship. You and your partner should tackle it before it becomes a real difficulty.

Red area scores indicate that this is a major weakness and possibly fatal flaw in the relationship. You and your partner need to discuss it and find a way of improving things.

Case Study: David and Sally

David and Sally’s assessments of their relationship are shown in the scorecards below. In the scorecards, S indicates how Sally feels about David’s behavior and performance in the relationship, and D indicates how David feels about Sally’s behavior and performance.

David and Sally’s profiles illustrate that the sexual and romantic aspect of their relationship is working reasonably well but the interaction and support side is causing problems. Although both partners have the same reasonably positive assessment of the sexual and romantic side of the relationship, they have quite different views about the way they communicate, support each other, and resolve conflict and disagreements.  

David and Sally's interaction and support scorecard

RDQ Relationship Diagnostic Questionnaire 

Sally is particularly unhappy with four areas--autonomy, control, responsibilities, and conflict resolution. Although she sees that David is committed to their relationship, she feels that she does not have enough autonomy and freedom in the relationship, and she feels that David is a bit of a control-freak. She is very dissatisfied with the way household chores are divided, and she is unhappy with the number of disagreements and fights they have been having.

David, on the other hand, is either moderately or more than satisfied with all aspects of the way they interact and support each other. David and Sally’s case nicely illustrates a fairly common problem of the woman in a relationship shouldering most of the household chores and feeling hemmed in by a controlling man and how this inevitably leads to tension, disagreement, and arguments. David is going to have to compromise and change some of his behaviors if the relationship is to improve.

David and Sally's sex and romance scorecard

RDQ Relationship Diagnostic Questionnaire